Does anyone else ever do this?

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If I ever have a moment to think all I can think about is how stupid I acted that one time or how I wish I had said something different or I wonder what they think of me they must think I'm a freak. Even if they happened ten years ago I still wish I could go back and switch something I did even if I can't remember what exactly happened I just assume it was stupid and everyone thinks I'm anoying because of it. I know it sounds stupid and I will even think about what I wrote here twenty minutes from now but I can't stop no matter what even if the people I was with asure me that I was not being stupid.

 

By andine on Thu, 01-17-13, 19:07

you may have grown up in a critical household. i did, so i think i know a quite a bit of what you are going thru. it's really hard to re-program yourself. it takes time, help and diligence. therapy is useful if it's available to you. also avoiding negative ppl who put you down, that includes mean family members/"friends".

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By heaven57 on Thu, 01-17-13, 20:44

I do this all the time. Sometimes when im thinking about something stupid i said or did in the past, i even start to wonder (years later) if the people who were there at the time still think about it, and are still judging me for it all this time later.

And to andine....thats not the case for me....my family has always been very close, very accepting and nonjudgmental. but that doesnt stop me from feeling judged. My family/friends have always been very supportive of me. Yet i still cant bring myself to open up to them for fear they will suddenly stop being supportive. everything i do/say i play it through in my mind several times first. thinking of every possible outcome and what others will think. usually by the time i work up the nerve to actually say whats on my mind the moment has passed and it becomes pointless anyways.

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By saragano on Thu, 01-17-13, 22:29

Everyone does stupid shit and worries about. What people think and sat. Its. especially worrysome when you are in high school. I he,ard o ton of shit about people around me and there's only a few I remember over 15 yrs down the road andthats cause the people they were about owned up to it and really when that happens its not fun to talk about. I did stupid and embarrassing things and believe me my friends and sisters still remember that stuff and if anyone else does they don't mention it so im good with that. So don't worry to much the people who remember are your friends and therest don't matter.

Sassy louise

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By Katfergy on Fri, 01-18-13, 09:21

Well It's just that I contintently think that the people around will leave me after I've do much stupid stuff I think about that all the time even if what I'm saying is completly normal and I know it I still HAVE TO analyze everything in my head to make sure that all the things that I've said haven't acumulated and now even my best friend might just dump me because of it. I don't to do it, it just happens. I have a hunch that my dad is the same way and maybe its genetic or he somehow taught me how but sometimes I feel angry agry at him for it but really it was probably hid parents who taught him and back generations. So really I have no idea how it will really ever get better because my dad is almost 50 and he says the same stuff I do. He even when to see a theripist when he was about my age..

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By saragano on Fri, 01-18-13, 11:04

You say your dad does the same things does he have healthy relationships with other people? I just can't think of anything that you could do to completely run everyone out of your life. And if you know what is bothering your friends and yourself then make some changes and learn from your mistakes. Things will get better, your still young and have the rest of your life.keep your head up things will get better.

Sassy louise

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By andine on Fri, 01-18-13, 17:32

it may be "passed down", being somehow a perfectionist and/or always second guessing yourself. have you thought about therapy yourself?

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By Katfergy on Sat, 01-19-13, 01:11

I don't think I could do therapy first of all I couldn't ask my mom that I would be too awkward second I could never tell a therapist anything important not out loud

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By andine on Sat, 01-19-13, 08:14

your dad might be supportive of therapy and it may take a while to open up to a stranger but it will help you in the long run. like a friendship, you open up slowly as you learn to trust the other person.

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By iwabo on Sat, 01-19-13, 21:27

I overannalyze and criticise myself after many social situations. I have with other people. It is horrible. I often catch myself jumping to extreme conclusions that almost always are completely wrong. I wish I could stop as well. I have had lots and lots of counseling but I believe people do get a handle on this sort of thing. I can tell because I have been working with my therapist for so long I am starting to sense that she really wants me to be more compliante and take the time to do the work. Write down my thoughts/ the situation my feelings and the thought distortion.

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By klove3024 on Sun, 01-20-13, 15:50

I do this very often, I thought it was just me over reacting. I found it odd how I cant remember events in my life but I can remember stupid things I said or did years ago, in element school even that I wish I didnt do or could change. I makes me physically sick at times.

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By kslifehappens123 on Sun, 01-20-13, 16:35

This all sound's so normal to me. People don't always want to hear, or care how you analyze things as far as friend's or family go. As I have said to sister or mom, what I worry about, or say and do, or how they'll react, it's become some what of a joke in the family. In a fun way. They would be exhausted by how much or how I think. I love to play the 'human nature ' card. People are so interesting how they react to things said or done, so I try to not offend anyone and feel bad after going through it in my head, how I could have done that different. I thought EVERYONE thought this way.:) I still remember all the dumb things I've done or said but I don't beat myself up over it. I know I'll never do it again. Learn to forgive yourself. I think you've been gifted with a good insight, sound's good to me. Try not to voice what you see if it doesn't help the people around you. People do what people do, it's human nature. Enjoy it!:):):)

I've had MS 15 yrs., been through many stages. After wrapping the mind around this disease, there is a life worth living.

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By shannon winnie on Sun, 01-20-13, 17:35

i say the wrong thinga at times too. i think one thing and something else comes out. people look at me like i lost my mind but i try to think positive about doing better next time. try not to be hard on yourself cause everyone does this sooner or later. be happy and be positive.

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